Not Normal

Many of you are not going to make it.

I'm sorry, but it's true. It is what scripture says. "Few, will find it."

The difference is very simple, but apparently impossible for any man or woman to fix.

The only way to be saved, to continue on beyond this life, is to trust in God, through Jesus Christ. That is what is written in the bible. This trust, as it is also written, is a gift given by God, The Father. It is not earned, worked toward, or accomplished, in any way by a man or woman. To get this gift otherwise is impossible.

Matthew 19:25-26

[25] When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"

[26] Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Here is the rub. Faith in Jesus is given to whomever God chooses to give it to, and getting it otherwise is not going to happen. Most who think they have faith are stuck in a loop of somehow they earned it, either by being just good enough for God to give it to them, or they "chose" it by their own "free" will. They made a decision. They sorted it out, and figured it to be true.

Although, the method that God, The Father, used to give this gift may very well have been through their looking, studying, or examination, the actual gift is never received through any work. You did not, and never will CHOOSE to be saved.

He alone chooses. That IS what Jesus said.

"I have decided to follow Jesus!"

No, He decided you will.

NO ONE CAN BOAST!

If say, scripture is true, as you say you believe it to be, then what I write here is true. Because it is written in the book! Me, I'm just repeating it, and pointing to it.

Goats, always struggle to be the highest. God made them that way. We would say, "It's in their nature". It is no coincidence that God calls the lost "Goats". I used to think it was just because they were self-important and dismissive of the "least", but I now realize it is all the same. Goats WANT to do it themselves.

"It's my choice!"

"I can do this!"

"It is up to me!"

"I will do it better!"

"I'm self-made!"

"I WILL ASCEND!"

Can you see it? This is the lie. It has always been the lie. It is the original lie that Jesus speaks of when He speaks of the devil.

John 8:44

[44] You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

It is the "I will ascend". The idea that we don't need God to do something. That WE are responsible. This is the separation of Sin.

"I can do it myself!"

If you want this, you separate yourself from the One in actual control.

No, not really, since He is in control anyway, but this just exposes what you really are...not chosen.

God is THE Author. Nothing happens that is not within His will or control. NOTHING. That includes Satan and his lie.

"Why would God do this!?"

I don't know, but I do know that this is what scripture says.

Is this uncomfortable to you? So much so that you will ignore it? If so, well, you are not meant to understand.

Satan has no idea what position he really is in...no idea. Neither does anyone else who God has destined for destruction. Judas didn't. Yes, it is sad, but it is true.

No, God isn't mean or cruel. There are two things here to understand.

One, God is BRILLIANT beyond anything we can comprehend. If there was a better way to do whatever He is really doing with this reality, then He would have done it.

Two, God is GOOD. He is THE definition of Good. In no way is anyone going to be able to rightly say to Him when this is over..."Hey, that's not fair!" It's just not going to happen.

God does not make mistakes.

But He is rather complicated.

"You are a nut job sir!"

Maybe, I started this journey out in a not so usual way. Jesus appeared to me, and after I asked Him to take my life and do whatever He could do to make me the best that HE wanted me to be...I watched Him write it down.

Yes, I did. Was I hallucinating? Well, the only day I ever considered that as a possibility, was 18 years later. On that day, after I disturbingly accepted that as a possibility, God sent a prophet, yes, a real one, to tell me that He did in fact appear to me. He said simply, "Well, you asked Him to do it, and then you saw Him write it down."

I never doubted the event since.

I didn't get to do any great "ministry" over the years since then, in fact I have been consistently rejected by ministers and leaders. It was always the same. They somehow wanted me to submit to their leadership by lifting them up in my eyes...like any Goat would. To their frustration, I just couldn't do that.

I have had 20+ dreams from God, and half as many visions. You would think a visitation, dreams and visions would at least give me a tiny voice within the church.

It doesn't.

It is frustrating, because I have seen many who are raised up in churches, who have experienced much less than I have, and barely know God, become leaders and even pastors because of their fantastic visions!

Even worse, are the many who I have walked with that hear what God shows me, and offer no interest..."meh". Yet, not a few days later, I have heard them repeating what I told them to someone else, not remembering where they heard it!

My frustration, is a problem. It is in fact "goat-like".

You see, I know God is in control. He IS the Author. This is His story. I am just a character it it. One that He seems to like a lot when I sit with Him. Yet, He consistently hides me, holds me back, or frustrates any effort of mine to reach others! This here, is my struggle to be independent, separate from God.

"I can do this! If you will just let me!!"

God doesn't need me. He doesn't need any of us. We are saved by NOTHING we did, or do. He doesn't need our ministry. He doesn't need our service. He doesn't need us at all!

"What does He want then!?"

You know, I haven't figured that out yet...OK, correcting that goat-like thinking...He hasn't REVEALED that to me yet.

My very first dream from Him.

I found myself standing in the dark in front of an indoor pool. I could smell the chlorine and hear the splashing. I only saw Jesus standing over to the right. He spoke to me, "I'm going to turn on the light." When the light went on, I could see the pool was full of dogs. They were drowning, because they were completely unable to get up the ladders to get out of the water. I immediately dove in and started grabbing dogs, and thrusting them out of the pool. I did it for a while. Finally, there were no dogs left. Exhausted, I got out of the pool near my Lord. He put a towel over my back as I tried to catch my breath. He then said, "I'm going to drain the pool." I stood there, next to Him, on the side of the pool watching as the water drained. When it got to the bottom, I expected a bunch of dead dogs, but instead there where only bodies of people. After that, I found myself standing by a picnic table outside while a huge line of people whom I had known waited to say goodbye to me. That was when I woke up.

No, I don't understand the meaning of the whole dream. I do get the effort to reach people. So far, I don't know that there are many who I have helped, but then, that is not my responsibility. Again, He doesn't need my service...He WANTS my FAITH.

The pool is people drowning in their own efforts!

I myself need to keep fighting the good fight and let go of my own.

God is in control. We need to accept it, believe it and embrace it. This is what Jesus spoke of over and over...Trusting The Father.

Matthew 6:25-26

[25] "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

[26] Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

OK, so what does all of this mean?

Consider all of your struggles. Look at all of your regrets. Even look at all of your sin. Throw it all into the light of the truth. If God wanted any of it to have been different, it would have been.

Trust Him. He is a great Author. Your story is not yours. It is His.

You may not be like Elon Musk, wealthy, powerful, intelligent. God didn't make you like Elon. He didn't want to. He made you like you are. He is good with that, what kind of arrogance is it to despise that??

He wants your faith and trust in Him. He gave it to you, all you can do is seek Him to watch it grow.

Ah, but there is one thing to seriously consider...what type of character are you?

Are you like Moses?

Are you like Peter"

or

Are you like Judas"

Ouch.

Yes, we are all characters in God's story. Me, I wanted to be like Moses, yet I have never had a face to face with God, that I am aware of. He once told me, when I said I wanted to see His throne, "you have been here many times, you just don't remember it." So, maybe I have, but why keep me from remembering it?

It just goes to show, there is more to what we experience than we grasp on a daily basis. Yes, there is much more to this story than we know...for now.

No, I'm not normal, but then...

Who wants to be normal?

I am just glad to be one of His, no matter what part I play.