Interactions with God #104
In the middle of September, of 2004, while facing the discouraging situation with my boss and the Scottsdale church, I got a hit on a resume that I had sent out. The company was called Crossvale. They were based out of Plano, TX.
Crossvale, at the time, was owned by three guys. Two of them had been involved in a company called Customware before they started Crossvale. Customware had been acquired by The Middleware Company before Precise Software bought them. These guys knew who I worked for at The Middleware Company and understood the reasons why the job didn’t last very long.
Crossvale sold training services to software vendors and these guys were very good at it. They could go into a software company, study their code, and then turn around and create manuals, courseware, marketing materials and even teach classes. I got a decent job offer from them during the last week of September. I started selling for them in October.
Each time there is a new job, new church, a move, or big change, there is always some kind of hope. Hope is very powerful. The hope is that now, maybe, God will show His favor.
God’s favor. What does that mean? Does it really mean what most in the church believe…that things work? Sure, we all want things to work. But if we REALLY want to put God first, that road will be paved with struggle. I have said it before, faith needs challenges to grow. If that is true, then maybe God’s favor is not shown by good times, but rather by bad times accompanied by growth. This, is something I now firmly believe. God’s favor is shown by how life draws us closer to Him. A successful life is measured by an extreme closeness to Jesus Christ.
That closeness comes through communication and God often communicates to us in really strange ways. Of course He can speak out loud. Though as of yet, I have never heard Him speak that way. Dreams I have had, and visions too. There are thoughts that clearly come from Him and thoughts that I am not so sure about. Of course He uses the bible to speak to us and especially to confirm or deny the other methods in which we “hear” Him.
One of the stranger ways I have found Him speaking to me is that He suddenly “highlights” something. This “highlighted” thing could be a sentence in print, a word spoken on a radio, or maybe even a phrase spoken by strangers in a casual conversation as they pass by. This message will seemingly take a sudden forefront in my mind and heart. You know it is something that God is saying to you. The words just stand out and they often answer a question or prayer you have recently had.
As an example, this next Interaction with God was precisely this type of message. In October of 2004, I had a new job and we were going to a new Church. During that time of hope, just after a rather strong period of discouragement, I found myself reading a science fiction book called Dune Messiah. In the book, I came across a sentence that God “highlighted”. As I read the words, I just knew, almost as though God pointed at the passage and spoke it to me Himself. I don’t remember the exact words of the book, but the meaning is what was important. Paraphrased, the words said something like this: “When in the pain of labor, the best way to deal with it, is to relax and trust that the events will lead naturally to the birth. To try to fight for control by resisting, will only increase the difficulty and pain.”
I was just beginning to understand His process of growth. Because of the Pregnant Warrior dream, I knew God was working to birth something in me or through me. The hope to discouragement, discouragement to hope, were the labor pains. The end result would be worth it. Something wonderful will be born.
The trouble with the birthing process is that the closer you get to the actual birth, the labor pains increase drastically in intensity and frequency. Though 2004 ended with hope, the discouragement cycle would follow early in 2005. A time of contraction, when all my fear, disappointment and discouragement would come to a head…again.
I am writing this Interaction with God in April of 2015. The contractions are running pretty much back to back and they are huge… Yes, this has been one really long labor. Though I am better at it, I am still struggling with my effort to not resist. Resisting, as I have found, most definitely does make the contractions hurt more.