Interactions With God #121

Sometime in 2012, we left the church we had been attending, Ridgeview, because after a couple of years we just could not connect with people. I did the classes, jumped through all the hoops, went to home groups and attended leadership classes even though I could have taught them.

No one really wanted to get to know us. We did do a few dinners with folks, but it never happened more than once. There was even a time at a men's home group that I was sitting near a group talking about going out for a beer after the meeting. The guy heading up the idea looked over at me since I was right there. After an awkward pause, he also invited me, but then made the impromptu get together a wee bit tentative. As we were leaving, he wanted my number to let me know what they decided. Not 5 minutes later, I got the call and was told they decided not to go.

Yes, they either cancelled because of me or he lied to me. They just didn't want me there. No, I was not difficult, I didn't complain about my circumstances or argue Scripture. I was seeing more and more that the "mark" thing that God told me about on my birthday in 2008 was really true. In a way it is cool having God single you out, but it sure is frustrating when all you want is a few friends.

So we left Ridgeview and found a really small church called Authentic. When we first went, there were maybe 10 people attending with 5 or 6 who came only once in a while. The pastor was a young guy, who was sent out from a larger church to plant this one. His name was Clint.

I figured that with so few people in a new church plant, I could get around this "mark" somewhat, make some friends and maybe do some kind of ministry again.

Clint was a decent guy and did seem to try to connect with me, though his wife didn't seem to like me much. I went to a home group that he was trying to start, but it became just him and I after a just a few meetings. When it ended, he told me that he prays at the church most Monday evenings and I could join him, so I did.

At one of these prayer meetings in 2013, I got a vision of being in the Kingdom after Jesus returns. I found myself looking for those I had never gotten a chance to apologize to. At the same time others were coming up to apologize to me for offenses they had done, and I was very satisfied with it.

As my thoughts returned to the prayer meeting with Clint, I realized that all I wanted from believers, who had been terrible to me, was an acknowledgement of their wrong and an apology. I also realized that for those who will reject God, I don't need one as they will be punished for much greater crimes against God. I saw that I really didn't need restitution or for anyone to pay a penalty, just an apology was enough.

The next day on Facebook, I made a comment on a post from a friend, who was a mutual contact of the man who tried to take my place of leadership for our first church plant in New Hampshire. The man made a comment on the post reminiscing on efforts we had done to reach people in that city. I replied that it really wasn't a good memory for me.

I didn't accuse him and I didn't intend to imply anything. It was just true. Due to what he had done, that church plant died. As I have written before, it was like losing a child...painful. A few minutes later he sent me an invite to connect on Facebook.

I wanted to reject it. I really did. But the Spirit of God reminded me of the vision from the night before...I accepted the invite.

Within minutes, he sent me a private message asking if he had wronged me. All I said in reply was that I was aware that he and another couple did not want me to lead the church plant.

It really doesn't help to blast someone for the pain they caused. It may feel good to list, in detail, how badly the pain affected you, but it just isn't what Jesus Christ wants us to do. So that was the extent of my accusation.

His reply was simple, "I am sorry for sinning against you". My response was immediate. " I forgive you".

This is what Jesus wants. The timing of the vision of apologies was key. I can tell you for a fact that if God had not given me that, I would have never accepted the friend request. It was absolutely the only reason I did.

By trusting God's way of things, I got what I really wanted, an apology. More importantly, a Christian man received forgiveness.