Interactions with God #106
As I feared, I lost my job with Crossvale by the end of March, 2005. It was my 5th layoff so far. I didn’t get fired, as there was no valid reason for them to do so, even though my manager didn’t like me very much. I got laid off after working for them only six months. The reason was that they had begun to have financial problems due to the downturn in the economy. This had caused some internal squabbles between the partners. They decided to let go of half of their company. Considering there were only 12 full time people, six of us got the boot.
Martha, due to the instability of my job situation, had already been working full time through the temp agency called Stivers. Though her pay would keep us from total collapse in the short term, it would not be enough for us to keep the house. I had already been sending out resumes, but there was nothing solid in the works. Without other options, I also went to Stivers and began working short term, temporary jobs.
It is a humbling thing to lose a job. It is also a humbling thing to be doing jobs that a high school student can do. I took jobs filling papers, counting retail stock, checking people in for a conference, and even once guarded a parking lot during a sporting event. In each of these jobs, God, of course, would not let me be treated well. Hard as it was, I was as nice as possible to the people who were unpleasant, rude and/or demeaning. This didn’t change the way they acted, but it did make God smile. This situation lasted throughout the rest of 2005 and early into 2006.
Christmas that year was another challenge. It would be another really light Christmas. One in which we were the family that other families helped so my kids would have a good Christmas. 2005 was the second time that this had happened. I did appreciate the help, I really did, but the situation is terribly humiliating for a man. It also raises a lot of questions when you know you belong to God. Questions like, “Why God?” and “How much longer?”
When there is nothing more you can do, yet your situation is bad, you just have to trust in God’s plan. This test of faith is not a bad thing, no, not at all. It does make you “know” God on a much deeper level. I don’t like this testing, but I do like the results. God has told me over and over…”it will be worth it”. I cling to that.
We put the house on the market around December of 2005. Just like the last time we put our house on the market, we didn’t get any offers on the house for months. Housing prices in the Phoenix area had risen steadily until October of 2005. By December, the housing market was already starting to drop. We bought the house for $209,000 and we put it on the marked for $355,000. If we had put the house on the market three months earlier, it would have listed for $380,000.
In early 2006, Stivers had run out of things for me to do. Through a parent of one of Brianne’s friends, I got a job at a Golf course mowing greens and doing menial tasks. It was for $7 and hour. I was the only person working there who spoke English. This was the normal pattern. God would give me a humbling job and at the same time isolate me. Almost every job that I could get was like this. Those who know me would understand, this was pure torture.
I was humbled, I was isolated, in both work and at church. My family was suffering greatly. Martha wanted nothing to do with people anymore. Other than a few close friends, we didn’t have anyone else to relate to, and none of them were at the Anthem church where we attended.
On a Sunday morning in February, Martha just didn’t want to go to church. Normally, this would bother me greatly and a fight would ensue. This morning, however, God spoke to my heart. Not with words, but with understanding. I knew He was going to test me that morning and I needed to do it alone. I didn’t argue with her, I just said OK. I drove to the service by myself with a certain amount of dread. I knew whatever God was going to do, that it was going to hurt. He knows what I need…yes, I kept telling myself that.
The church service that morning was uneventful. I got the same distant reactions from most and the usual hateful looks from others. Nothing happened. Not during worship and not during the message. I was starting to think that I got it wrong…maybe, I would not be tested! Ha! Yea, right…
Susan and Mike, yes, the same Susan and Mike from the earlier Interaction. They were the ones with the son who was being harassed by an evil spirit. Yea, them. They were also involved with the Anthem church. They joined while we were attending the Scottsdale church. Susan had just been put in charge of the Sunday school program. I had taught Sunday school for a session or two during 2005. On my way toward the door to leave, she called me over to a group of them to ask if I would teach again. I told her no. We had our house on the market, if it sold we would have to move. So, I could not commit to 6 weeks of teaching. Susan, said Ok. Then she asked how the job hunt was going. I said that it wasn’t going well at the moment. She suggested that I apply to Google as Google had just moved into the Phoenix area.
I understand that people don’t really get what I do for a living. I have explained it a bazillion times but always get that same blank stare. Especially, from people who don’t understand how the software market works. I sell software training services. I had done it for many years by 2006. I don’t sell advertising, and though I could, no one would hire me. Why? Simply because I have not sold advertising before, and the next guy in line has. Google at the time, did not sell software. They sold advertising. I knew Google would not hire me and would not have a job even close to what I do. Politely, I told her no, Google was not an option. She, apparently, did not believe that I knew what I do very well. “Why don’t you try?” I explained to her my role, again. I also explained the situation with my lack of advertising sales experience. “But God can do anything.” Yes, of course He can. But I knew He was also currently humbling me, so this would not work.
What she didn’t know, was the countless times that I had already tried companies like Google. I had sent resumes out to everyone from Oracle to Target. I had been sending them for years by 2006. Home Depot wouldn’t hire me. Target wouldn’t hire me. I normally made too much money, so I was a flight risk. I explained all this to that small group of people…again.
I started getting frustrated. I had gone through this type of conversation with “church” people for years now. I had realized already that they were not interested in helping. They were interested in proving to themselves that I was doing something wrong. Like Job’s friends, they wanted to believe that this was why nothing was working for me and my family. They weren’t going to listen to what I said, because to them, it was all just excuses. As my frustration grew, so did their smugness. Mike started to get loud and aggressive. “You are required by God to take care of your family!” I responded by quoting him a Biblical proverb on how a fool speaks regarding a matter before knowing anything about the matter. Of course, that didn’t matter…
I tried to ignore his rant. Then one of the women in this little group asked me, again, what I do. I explained the problem this way. “I sell software training. I have sold software training for years. It is like being a dentist. If I have been a dentist for years, no one is going to hire me as a plumber.” She replied, “So you’re a dentist?”
At that point, I realized the utter futility of defending myself to these my accusers. That was when the pastor came up to me, yea me, and said “This is not the place for this.” I agreed and then left.
When I got home, half in tears, we got a call. Someone made a decent offer on our house. We sold the house for $325,000. Not the amount we had hoped for, but it was considerably more than we had paid for it just a year and a half prior. After realtor fees and taxes, we walked away with $80,000. God took care of us again, even in the midst of the trial.
He always does.