Interactions with God #34
January 8, 2015
I moved to New Hampshire in August of 1987. I was 24 years old and already struggling with the direction my life was taking. I had left college, early in my senior year, at the command of God himself... or did I?
I was seriously plagued by questions and doubts. Did I get it wrong? Did He even speak to me at all? And, if He did want me to quit school and move to Houston...WHY? The experience was extremely painful! The problem, I realize now, was based on simple ignorance of God. I had a rather simplistic view, as many Christian's, do regarding His purpose, His plan and how HE can choose to implement it. When we make him LORD, well, that is what He becomes. That gives Him the prerogative and right to do ANYTHING He wants with us. Every good soldier, knows that when he submits to a commanding officer, that officer and their superiors, can command them into any difficult or even suicidal mission. A good soldier does not question that authority. That kind of commitment takes a great deal of faith in the commander. I was not a good soldier...yet.
Because of my doubts, I needed reassurance. God, in His great understanding, wisdom and compassion, of course, knew this. So, that is what He gave me.
With the great questions, fears, and regrets, that I was struggling with, and being talkative as I am, I confessed much of these thoughts to my mother. I had to tell somebody. She, being my mom, took time off of work to spend some time with me. I needed to heal and she knew it. My mom was not a Christian at the time. Well, not in a true sense. She was raised Catholic, yet had not really accepted Jesus as Lord.
I am not dissing Catholics, for if anyone really believes what is written in the Apostles Creed, they ARE a Christian. However, just like many churches and/or denominations there are a HUGE number of people in them that are not really Christian. As I have said before, a Christian is a student of Jesus Christ. If a person calls himself or herself a Christian, yet knows nothing of the one he/she claims to follow and is not seeking more (a Christian is a disciple, a disciple is a student), then they are deceiving themselves. If you are not growing closer to Jesus Christ, just like any plant, you are ether damaged or dead.
My mom was concerned. She had been since I quit school. My parents both thought I joined a cult. Considering how Ray elevated himself, the term might actually apply. Either way, my mother was very concerned for her oldest son. Two years earlier, God, knowing what I would need in the future and what my mom needed then, had given her an "interaction" of her own...which would also become mine in 1987. God really does have a plan. So in August of 1987, while driving along with my mom, she told me of the event. I think we went to Mount Washington.
For those who don't know NH, Mount Washington is the biggest mountain on the East Coast. It doesn't compare to the Rockies, but for New England, the mountain is HUGE compared to the surrounding mountains. The top of this thing is perpetually cold. The drive up, is on a long, thin, winding road. There are no guard rails and bus tours go up and down this thing constantly...very quickly too. When one of these large buses passes you, screaming by, the driver (my mom) tends to move out a bit...right to the edge of a very long, long drop. Here I was emotionally scarred and now completely terrified. Yes, I was a bit chatty. So was she.
During this trip, she told me of something God did, just after I quit school and moved to Houston. Now, my mother had not had many "interactions" with God before, so this really stood out to her. As I said, both her and my dad were very concerned. She told me that she had been driving along, when a strange feeling came over her. She said it was like an angel moved up to the side of the car, just outside her window. She saw nothing, but the feeling was rather strong. Then, a voice spoke to her mind. The voice said to her "Do not worry about your son. He is mine now." That was all she heard, but the peace that followed helped her let go of much of her own fear. For me, hearing what God said to her two years ago, gave me the much that needed assurance - yes, I was still walking in His plan. In fact, I never left it.
Many times since, I have seen God lead me through very hard and dark places. Places, that generally leave a person asking the same questions I asked way back then. However, these "interactions" He has with us are key points, "fixed points in time" so to speak. These points become very strong bricks for the house God is building in us. A house for His Spirit...His heart. We are His project, We are His work. Not ours.