Interactions with God #51

When people don’t like you, and it’s not because you purposefully did anything wrong, you really do just think it is you.  When you are already fairly insecure, “it’s them, not me” doesn’t come readily to mind.  As I have said already, the pastor, of the church we were going to, didn’t like me much.  I didn’t do anything wrong, so, was it my personality?  Was it the way I acted?  Maybe I wasn’t too bright.  Yes, these were all valid possibilities to me.  I already did not think very highly of myself.  This respected pastor’s attitude toward me didn’t help these matters at all.

God doesn’t make mistakes.  Jesus didn’t die for nothing.  He paid the price to own US.  He declared, by His actions, that we are worth it to Him.  If we are worth it to Him, what does it matter what anyone else thinks.  Yes, that sounds good, and even though it is true, it is still really hard to live with the hurt when others look down on us.  Well, it is for me anyway.

God has done quite a bit of work it that area to get me to see my value to Him.  I believe most of these “interactions” are for that very purpose. My value, my identity, needs to be taken directly from Him.  For me to do otherwise, can really piss him off.

I thought I was being humble. I really did!

I was talking to Him, just like always.  This time though, I was having a bit of a pity party.  “I am sorry Lord, that I am so stupid. I am so useless.  I don’t think I will ever do anything decent for you…”  Yea, it was like that and went on for a few minutes. Until the Holy Spirit reacted, and not at all like I expected.  He was pissed…at me!

“Stop it! You’re insulting my work!”  Yup, that is the strong thought that ran through my heart and my head.  It was really scary, much like the time I pissed Him off in Austin.  Considering His response, what else could I do?  I stopped immediately and apologized.

You know, I had never really looked at it that way before.  I am His work.  It does say that in the book after all in Ephesians 2:10.  To insult ourselves, OR others that belong to Him, is just that, insulting His work.  Not something I want to find myself doing…ever.