Interactions with God #73

Around the 1996 time frame, one of the Vineyard churches in Toronto had an Azusa Street like event happen.  For those who are not familiar with Azusa Street or what happened at the Toronto Vineyard, it is called an outpouring of God’s Spirit.  Basically, strange events take place with a greater frequency than usual, people falling down under the power of God, spontaneous speaking in tongues, miraculous healings and prophetic utterances.  It is always exciting when God does something out of the norm, but sadly, events like this often come in conjunction with men being men.

When God showed up at the Azusa Street Mission sometime in 1906, it wasn’t long until a bunch of liars, cheats, and occult practitioners showed up and tried their best to keep it going.  I believe similar things happened again at the Toronto Vineyard.  But the worst wasn’t the fake or deceptive practitioners, it was how leadership on both sides handled it. 

The Vineyard leadership wanted controls put in place to avoid major problems, while the local church leadership didn’t want to do so.  Neither party handled it well.  Basically, the Vineyard leaders said do it our way or the highway and the Toronto church took the highway.  Sad as it was, God was still doing something, just as He did at Azusa Street.  Azusa Street started the Pentecostal movement and changed how church services are run, even to this day.

Vineyard leadership, in an effort to contain and/or explain what happened, did a conference tour to a large number of churches around the world.  I was placed on the ministry team for one of these conferences in Framingham MA.  That means, it was my job to pray with people who requested it.

On the Friday night of the conference weekend, I prayed for quite a few people.  Several of them dropped to the ground while I prayed.  As they did, I felt nothing different.  As with any “interaction” with God, it is wise to be cautious.  I love it when God moves, but I seriously don’t want to find myself faking it or “creating” it by being overly emotional.  No, I want God to move, but I want it to be GOD, not me or anyone else.  I ended that night concerned that every instance of people falling down or looking changed was their emotion rather than God.  I didn’t feel anything at all in each case.  Yea, it bugged me.

At the Saturday sessions, Todd Hunter one of the Vineyard leaders, talked more about what they believed was happening during this outpouring.  Interestingly enough, he was rather open that Vineyard leadership really didn’t know what was happening and/or why.  I gained a lot of respect for the leadership that day.  They also wanted it to be God rather than man.  As each session ended, we again did ministry time.  However on this day, my prayers seemed dry.  Not only did I not feel anything, but neither did the people I prayed for.  Nothing happened at all.  No falling down, no tears, no response on each person whatsoever.  I began to stress about it, thinking that I was somehow blocking what God wanted to do.  Yea, like little old me could “block” God from doing anything.  Stupid as it was, it was really bothering me.   So much so, that a Prison Chaplin, I met the night before, approached me to offer encouragement.  He said “Just trust God and pray.”  Well, that’s what I thought I was doing. 

This went on most of the day.  It finally came to a head later that evening.  I ended up praying for this guy who was probably 6’ 4” and solid muscle.  I had my hand on his chest as his shoulders were just too high for me.  I closed my eyes to pray.  No, actually, I squeezed them tightly as if my eye pressure added some umph to my prayer.  Finally after a few minutes of crushing my eyeballs and asking for God to move, I opened my eyes and looked at the man.  He was looking down on me from his great height with a most disappointed look...  I don’t know if he really thought it, but I was sure he was thinking, “Dude, can’t you do better than this?”  After another minute I gave up, feeling rather pathetic.

I went over to Pastor Ed and another church planter I knew from the program, named Skip.  I told them what was bothering me.  They agreed to pray for me.  While standing there with my eyes closed, Skip went and asked God to rewire me.  I had no idea what he meant and I really didn’t expect much, but suddenly my knees began to feel weak.  Someone behind me took the weight and brought me to the floor.  I figured I had just lost my balance. I had been standing most of the day after all. 

I ended up lying on the floor, really disappointed. I had never been “slain in the Spirit” as they call it.  I figured God was just about to do something and I messed it up by losing my balance.  I didn’t want to get up right away, because I would look like an idiot, so I lied there for a couple of minutes in my frustration.

After I felt that it would not look as awkward for me to get up, I tried to move.  I couldn’t.  I could not move at all.  My first thought was “Oh no! I broke my neck somehow on the way down!”  Yes, I did think that.  Of course, there was no way considering how slowly they let me to the floor.  No, this was something else, and I had no idea what.

I could open my eyes and when I did I must have had a panicked look on my face.  I was barely able to open my mouth and Martha leaned down because I obviously wanted to speak.  “BAAAAAAAA” came out.  I couldn’t even make my mouth parts work.  Here my wife and church friends, who were still there praying for me, began to laugh.  One even said, it must be God, because Lou can’t talk!  Gee thanks guys!

I lied there for a good 45 minutes before I was able to move and actually get up off the floor.  During that time, God did not speak to me.  I did feel quite a few shivers run through me, though I may have just been cold there on the floor.  My mind was completely active and not involved in whatever God was doing.  I still don’t know what or why He did that.  I do know it was not in my head or done by emotion. 

I think as a lesson, God was showing me that when He moves, it is because HE moves. It doesn’t have anything to do with our state of mind, heart or actions on our part.  Our prayers are us just asking Him, the rest is always up to Him.  We don’t even have to understand what He is doing or why.  

Later, I did consider Skip’s prayer of God rewiring me.  Maybe God did something deep, something internal to change me.  Something that would not be obvious to myself or others.  At Sunday service the next morning, I walked into the main sanctuary and bumped into a young man who attended church with one of the families.  The man was mentally disabled and had been so since birth.  He was a really nice man who just had the mind and heart of a child.  “Lou!” he said, “You look different! I almost didn’t recognize you!”  Hummm, maybe some do notice when God does something deep within us.  Some, who just simply have the heart of a child.