Interactions with God #99
Even when God goes out of His way to tell you that He has your life and all that goes wrong is part of His plan, you still struggle with thinking the problems are because of YOU. Sure, that is a faith issue, but faith is something that God is growing. It begins with the seed of His word. Jesus is the Word. Once the truth of Him is planted in your heart and soul, as the parable of the sower explains, it either grows, gets choked or dies. Like any plant, it needs to be watered. That water happens when you bath yourself over and over in the truth of God’s word. Yes, the Bible, but also good teaching, counseling from true brothers and sisters, words spiritually spoken through others, and the Word of God spoken directly to you. These messages of truth will strengthen your faith and make it grow. This is after all what God is looking for…not grand works, not impressive degrees, not becoming well known and respected among church people…He just wants your trust in Him to be stellar.
Faith doesn’t grow instantly. Like any plant, it grows slowly and must be cared for. The caretaker is God Himself…not you. Your job is just to respond to His leading. Trust does just that. It responds. Deep down, you KNOW what God wants. Even those who hate Him know. Yes, deny it all you want, but that is what God’s word says. You KNOW.
In the fall of 2003, I knew I needed more. I was getting lost at Vineyard Church of North Phoenix. So was Martha. I could feel the disappointment turning into bitterness. The looks from others didn’t help. The new lack of any respect made me want to hate people…not good, no not good at all. We needed a change.
The Scottsdale Vineyard was being pastored by a guy named Kevin. I knew Kevin from the pastor meetings that we had attended over the years. Martha and I always had great conversations at these meetings with both Kevin and his wife Ann. Kevin, in one conversation, had invited us to come help with their church. Late in 2003, we finally agreed and started to attend the Scottsdale, AZ Vineyard Church.
This change was partly in response to another job change. In October of 2003, I got laid off from The Middleware Company/Veritas. My third lay off up to that point. After Brent was walked out, we got a new manager. He was one of the most arrogant men I have ever met. He was rude, unkind and just plain mean. When the call came, you know, the call with HR, I was actually relieved. I sure didn’t want to be unemployed again, but now, that nightmare job was over, I sighed in relief.
To my Christian brothers, who already looked at me with suspicion, another lay off just screamed “problem” to them. Yea, they were pretty sure it was me. Well, in truth, it was me. It was all part of what God was doing to build my faith.
Yes, it was me. It has always been me. I am the plant that He is growing. His harvest is coming. I just need to trust and wait…it will be worth it.