Secret Identity

I had been struggling with something for a long time. I think many serious Christians do as well. It is a question: Why do we not do the great things Jesus did?

He did after all say we would do these things if we believe. Yet we don't do them. Oh, many say they do, you know, those “famous” ones on the TV.

Sadly, many of these have been proven liars and fakes. Many more are definitely not, as you can tell by what they teach. A message of prosperity and self-gratification, is clearly not what Jesus taught. Yet huge numbers flock to hear their messages and believe the “prophetic” words they speak. I learned a long time ago: Do not trust man.

God can and does speak through anyone he chooses. Yet, this does not mean that the vessel he chose at that time is now elevated to some “must listen to everything they say” status. This is what many do. It would be better to hear God speak through that person, and then also look for him to speak everywhere else.

I hear God speak and he does it from many different sources. I have heard him through my wife (She didn't even know it). I have heard him through my kids, my boss (when I had one), my friends, and my co-workers (even unsaved ones). I have heard him speak through almost every avenue at this point in my life. Yet, just like a phone, what he used was just a tool. We should not overly elevate the tool that God uses.

We are all tools. I want to be a tool used by God. It is a thrill that I have experienced many times and frankly, I am addicted to it. I want to do the great things Jesus promised. Yet, I only seem to do something either prophetic or impressive once, or twice every couple of years. That is not how Jesus phrased what we he said we would be able to do. This drives me crazy.

Many of the leaders of the so called Word Faith Movement would say that it is my fault. I just don't have enough faith. Yet, they define faith as some arbitrary, or magical, force that even God taps into. Yes, this is not only un-biblical but it is nuts as well. Still MANY believe this.

Though my limited faith does affect my ability to perform said miraculous things, it is not because of a lack of faith in FAITH, it is a lack of trust in God. But how is it that I don't trust him? I mean, I do believe he IS and do believe he rose from the dead and all, so what is the problem?

Consider Peter as he walked on the water. You know the story. The disciples saw Jesus walking on the lake. It was almost dawn, so the light was increasing, yet it was still fairly dark. It was windy so there would have been some rather big waves. Imagine being in a darkened world and then seeing a man walking on water, bobbing up and down with the waves...approaching from the distance. Yea, I would have freaked out too.

They thought they were seeing a ghost. As they cried out, Jesus said 'Relax dudes, it's just me”. Well OK I am taking some liberty here, but he did say something like that. Peter, said to him, “Lord, if its you, bid me to come out to you!” He did and then Peter did...well he started to anyway.

OK, get this. Peter WALKED ON THE WATER. That bouncy wavy water. He must have gotten a out more than a few steps too, because when he started to sink, if he was close, he could have just swam back to the boat. But he didn't. He called out to Jesus to save him.

So, why did he sink? That is the question. Jesus said to him...”Why did you doubt?” That question was gnawing at me all Sunday morning.

You see I have had quite a few flying dreams. In those dreams, the early ones, I could fly, but then I would forget how and then fall on my face in the dirt.

Now, my dreams, at least the ones from God, are very real like. I see colors, feel motion, temperature and even smell smells. Yes, real and sometimes scary too.

Because of this, falling on my face in the dirt after flying ten to twenty feet in the air...hurt. This I believe was to help me remember it. I did realize what the dream was implying. Flying simply represented the moments when I would get to do those miraculous things. Whether a word of knowledge (knowing and telling someone something no one but God would know), prophetic word (similar to a word of knowledge, but with added guidance or challenge), or healing someone of something. This is what the flying represents.

The falling represented my loss of power, the fact that I would not be able to do anything else miraculous for a long while. Why was I falling was the question, much like the question for Peter, why was he sinking? Jesus' question to him contained the answer, I just knew it. “Why did you doubt?” 

 What did he doubt in though? Was it in Jesus' power? Was it that he didn't believe that Jesus was God yet? Because he didn't at that time. Was it that he didn't believe he was good enough? These are all valid possibilities. He DID walk on the water, so there had to be some faith in there somewhere. So, where was the doubt?

I had a similar message in another dream in 2007. I have written about it before, though not in this blog. In this dream, I was the son of Superman. It began with me flying behind my dad. Of course he was dressed in the suit and so was I. I was his son after all.

Look, it was my dream, I am just glad he didn't make me the son of wolverine or something else.

So we were flying, and I was following him. We flew through a 3 story apartment building that was under construction. It was still just a frame, though on the far wall, sheet rock had been installed on the outside of the building. As my dad flew through the top floor, dodging the studs and then flying out the window that had been cut out on the far wall, I followed, but bumped the wall with my shoulder. The piece of sheet rock I hit fell. I swooped down and caught it before it hit the ground and brought it back to the place I knocked it out of.

It wouldn't fit.

It must have been put in poorly because it was barely hanging there in the first place. I was not going to be able to fix it. So I flew it down to the ground and laid it against the wall. I then turned to the construction team that was standing over to my right and told them that I was sorry, but I was unable to put it back, because of its flaw.

They mocked me.

Feeling saddened by their insults, I took a step to fly in order to catch up with my dad, but I could not get very far off the ground. I was taking leaps of ten to twenty feet...just like my earlier flying fail dreams.

As I approached my dad (Superman) who was now waiting for me on the ground, I asked him why I lost my power, and why people hate me. He replied “ Because you don't know who you are.” I then woke up.

Do you see the similarity? The flying fail because of some kind of lack of faith. Peter sinking because of the same lack of faith. So what was it. What was the reason? That was my struggle for the past couple of days.

The Superman dream contained the answer to Jesus' question to Peter, “why did you doubt?” The answer he had given me was “because you don't know who you are.” So, what does that mean?

The final answer came from Pastor Bo on Sunday. Pastor Bo taught on a verse in the Gospel of John. John 15:9, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love”.

In the message, he added that Jesus loves us with a perfect love, like the father has for Jesus, who is of course sinless. Even though we are not sinless, Jesus is saying he loves us as though we are. This is only because of the work that Jesus did on the cross. It has nothing to do with us. It is only because of our faith in that work and his love for us.

If we remain in him, after accepting that work and by holding on to his love, it is because of faith. In other words, because we really believe it. That faith as Bo said, according to the Book of James, will then be shown by our actions. Basically we will do things a man of faith will do, you know, like not live like a sinner. But that would also include things like Jesus did, you know, those miraculous things.

Sure, we are all still struggling with sinful thoughts or habits. But as Pastor Bo said, we do not want to find ourselves making excuses for lives that show a lack of any real faith by pulling out the “grace” card. Sure God has grace, but he is still righteous. Our “righteousness” comes only through faith in Jesus Christ. So, if we don't have any faith, we don't have any righteousness!

This message was generally for someone who thinks they are saved but are truly not as shown by the way they live. However, it also applies to those of us who would like to walk in greater power. Those of us who sink or fail in the flight. Those of us who really don't know what or why we doubt in God's desire to use us. It is the same reason. No, not that we are not remaining, but that we don't trust in God's love for us. We may have the righteousness and a Godly walk. We just don't have the consistent power to do the greater things.

He said it. He loves us perfectly! Not because we were good enough, rather, simply because we remain in him. I have remained in him. I know that by my walk. Is it perfect? No. Yet I am still here, and not making any excuses. I do not turn away from him with a mind set of “oh, he will give me grace”... yet I still have only been able to walk like Jesus did in rare circumstances.

I now think it is simply because I doubted in His love. That perfect love that has nothing to do with my smarts, intentions or ability. It has absolutely nothing to do with the way the worlds population thinks of me or even the way church people think of me. It is only because we believe in that love and walk in it. With a true faith in that love, not only will we show it by walking a Godly walk, but by walking it in a powerful way as well.

So whether we are struggling with sin, or would like to walk in power, it is the same faith, just at a deeper level. That is what life here is all about: Growing in faith. So my issue is that I need to really work on my understanding of His complete and perfect love for me. It is not limited by what others think of me or what even I think of me. It is what it is...perfect love. If I trust in that, I can, and will walk in that power that Jesus promised.

Here is the catch. Years ago, I had another dream.  In it I learned the process of how to fly. In order to fly, I had to go outside, stand in the sunlight, and after putting my arms out, wait for the wind to carry me. The meaning is pretty simple. Be in the presence of the Son of God, while waiting on the Spirit of God to move me. This of course requires that all important faith, plus a readiness to wait on the Lord and then obey.

Understanding this, I now realize that this is exactly what I did each time that I walked in power over the years. The problem I have had, was that as soon as someone criticized, judged or looked at me funny, I lost that power. This was because I lost faith in God's love for me. I forgot who I was. I am the son of superman, or rather a son of God. Loved perfectly and permanently. That love flows from my trust in Him and so does His power.

So the question and answer are simple:

The Question: Why do you doubt?

The answer: Because you don't know who you are.

The Solution: Have faith in God's love for you. You are his child who has been given a perfect love that has no room for improvement. We just need to believe it in order to generate a walk of Godliness and power.

So, if you want to fly...come to Jesus, live in his love and always remember who you are. You are a child of the all powerful, all knowing God of the entire universe. Just stand in His presence, wait on his Spirit and then enjoy the flight. “Up Up and AWAY!"